You’re Not Less Talented. You’re More Afraid.

It took me a while to actually start writing. I’d usually just daydream about it during boring moments. But this all changed when Amy died.

Amy had never shied from confronting me with my own ridiculousness. In response to my whining, she’d often ask me how things would look in my “perfect world.” What if things could be the way I really wanted them to be?

Her death was a startling reminder of my own mortality and it prompted me to pray. I asked God if I was wasting my life. Why didn’t my real life look more like the life I dreamed about in my perfect world?

Not long after, He answered me through an old blog post written by Emily Henderson. It was an entry she wrote describing what finally moved her to audition for HGTV’s show Design Star. She said:

“i woke up January 1st, and was all, ‘ok, life, fine, you asked for it, Emily Henderson is about to care less about what people think and take a few risks. Cause, you want to know the real truth? I was sick of people that are less smart and less talented being more successful because they have less fear. You heard me, and you know what i’m talking about. Big words from a little blonde, i know. I hope that doesn’t come across boastful, cause i’m not saying i’m the smartest or most talented, but I kept seeing the same thing over and over, and was a tired of wondering why it wasn’t happening to me.”

After reading it, I could feel God tell me: “That’s you. You’re not less talented. You’re more afraid.” It was true. And I didn’t want to be anymore. I didn’t want to waste my life because I was afraid.  And I certainly didn’t want my kids to grow up living in fear like I was. So I stepped out in faith, started this blog and started submitting my writing for publication. Small, but a start.

Like Emily, I don’t think I’m the best, smartest, or most talented. And I don’t have to be all those things. I just don’t want to be the most afraid. So I’m going to keep writing. Because my “perfect world” has writing in it.

What does your perfect world look like? Take a step in faith toward it. Just one!